my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize