Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
