dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
