My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize