Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
