My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
