I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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