at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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