It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
