East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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