So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize