I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
