Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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