He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
