when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
