This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
