I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
