Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Farmville is her only friend.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
