I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
