so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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