my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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