who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
