Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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