just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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