I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize