its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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