Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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