I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
