My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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