are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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