two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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