I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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