You made me cry and you don't even care
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
