My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize