I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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