just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
