Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
