we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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