This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize