with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
