bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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