Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
