it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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