Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
