its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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