And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
