I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
