it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
