The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
