I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
