I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
