im drinking this country out of the recession.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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