oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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