The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
