I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize