Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
love makes seman taste better
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
