How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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