Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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