And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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