I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
