Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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