Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize