Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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