so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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