Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
