just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
