Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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