oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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