Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
