yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize