Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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