Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
