I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
