Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
