In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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