Ambien. No doubt about it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
