this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
