Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
