he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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