So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
