Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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