If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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