I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
