Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize