And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
