Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize