I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
