I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
