Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
